Using Discernment While Dating

We all have standards. You know those things that are deal breakers in determining your interest in someone. Whether its personality, hobbies or interest, physical features, weight, or what have you, we all have standards. Those are the things that immediately attract us to a person before we even begin getting to know a person. At times our standards in our minds can be a bit extreme, but in due time with maturity we often see that what we thought we wanted isn't what we want or need at all. The interesting stuff only happens after we find someone who meets the initial standards and expectations, it's your gut feeling that either tells you this is real or that something just isn't right. Sometimes they are a bit confusing and it appears to be real, but under the surface, it's not really that pleasing to you. These feelings are nothing more than your God given discernment.

Now sometimes, it's obvious and early on that you can identify that the person has some issues that don’t align with you, and therefore disqualifies them from being "the one." When this happens it is best to go ahead and dismiss the situation and move on, but there are those other times when the person is consistent, the gifts and thoughtfulness are the best, their personal goals are realistic and promising, and they are genuinely interested in you, but then there is still something deep down inside that tells you something is not right, and in the back of your mind you know the day is coming where you will find out something terrible. In all honesty, discernment is not a bad thing, and is definitely needed when dating and praying to have Gods best. There will be distractions sent your way to test your faith in believing God has His best for you. As a soldier in the army of God there are a few things to do to ensure you are using your discernment and not falling victim to situations that are not of God.

  • Don't compromise your religion for anyone or debate your God. When you believe, you believe and therefore this situation is non-negotiable.

  • Don’t back out of your celibacy because you believe you found the one. The one God has will wait with you.

  • Don't pursue. Ladies it is not your job to chase anyone. If the interest is mutual he should pursue and initiate a date. You should be pursued!

  • Don't lower your standards. There is nothing wrong with wanting what's best for you. Just because your homegirl is okay with the guy who has no dreams past what he's currently doing does not mean you should settle for the same. If you desire a man who has goals, then that is where your interest should be. None of us are the same and that's what makes us unique.

  • Don't change you. You are you, a fearfully and wonderfully made individual created by God to fulfill His unique purpose for your life. There is nothing wrong with who you are as long as you are living for Him. No one can tell you differently.

These are just a few things that should stand out when dating and determining if a situation is worth your time. If none of the above raise a red flag to your discernment, then this may be a purposeful relationship. God will waste no time showing you who a person is, and you must ensure that you are in tune and aware of who He is so that you listen and by all means OBEY. I pray this blesses someone if you're currently dating or considering dating.

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