Lost Little Girl

She was lost as a little girl with no mother to teach her to grow into a woman, no mother to love her. Then there was her dad who lacked being a man, who grew older in age but never matured mentally. She found the love of her life, lost the love of her life to that typical thing that you know most guys run from. He was scared to feel any emotion even though he had found that one chick who made him feel like no other female has made him feel before, its when you know its real. She found the true love of her life who breathed life in her while carrying a bundle of joy inside of her for 9 months.

Thoughts racing through her mind as she tries to discover who she is as woman. She sees all of these other girls that seem to have found themselves, who has all the men wishing that they were theirs. Face is beat, makeup on fleek, waist snatched with a big butt to follow. Clothes from boutiques, money to buy new clothes for themselves every check they get. Facebook and instagram photos with 1000 plus likes and about 60 something comments. Good paying jobs and new cars. They know who they are.

Wait who is she again?

She still doesn't know. So she tries and tries. She tries to fit in with the bad b**** crowd, fail. She tries to fit in with the pretty gang, fail. She tries to fit in with the party crowd, fail. Popular crowd, fail. You see none of these worked because she wasn't happy being either one, and truth be told she wasn't happy with herself.

Wait who is she again?

She is the girl with a mom who she barely knows and does not have a relationship with. A mother who never taught her how to grow into womanhood, with no mother to love her so she's struggling to become the woman she's truly trying to be. She is the girl that had a dad who lacked being a man, so she jumps from relationship to relationship looking for that love she never received from her parents. She is that girl that went through ups and downs with the love of her life, she is that girl who carried that bundle of joy, gave birth, and is now a mother to her, she is her true love's great creation. She is a person of love and peace. She is the girl that is intimate with the earth and nature who still struggles from time to time with comparison of other girls, who seem like they have it all together, but lets be real....no one actually has it all together. She still searches for her identity from time to time yet she tries to remain strong for the sake of her daughter. Mothers to young girls understand this.

She still searches for her purpose. She still craves that perfect life, when all in all sometimes....just sometimes she has a hard time accepting where she is in life. She is sometimes impatient and jumps before it is time to to jump. 24 years of life with a daughter to follow her footsteps to become greater than she, and yet the question still remains....who is she?