I'll never forget the night I laid on my kitchen floor, it seemed as though I was laying there for more than 24 hours. I didn't eat. I didn't answer any phone calls. I just laid there. As the tears rolled down my face into a small puddle on my kitchen floor, my mind was racing, but I couldn't move. I just continued to lie there, trying to gather my thoughts and come to some conclusion of how I ended up in this awful situation. I cried out to God asking why? I just could not face this amount of devastation. I was so distraught and could not make sense of the pain I was experiencing because I believed that I was at the point where I wholeheartedly was serving God with my life and I was learning more and more about His word. I learned about tithing and began doing so faithfully. I also made one of the hugest decisions ever which was remaining abstinent until I am married. I was not only going to church, but I was involved, and yet I found myself lying on my kitchen floor, painfully crying out to God asking why? I honestly wanted to die. I allowed the enemy to take over my mind and emotions. I began believing that what I was experiencing was one of the most painful moments that I would have ever endured. As I sunk into a deep depression, daily wanting to just disappear, I had amazing people around me that would not allow me to succumb to any type of fear. Whether it was physical, emotional, mental, or spiritual, they knew I was facing a battle that I could not conquer, not on my own. As much as I uttered the words "I'm good", I could not play them as if they were fools because my mind was going on a rapid chase. It was a chase of ill thoughts because I was allowing the pain to increase as my faith slowly decreased.
BUT thank God for prayer! I believe there is so much power in prayer and that it still works! The pain was just too much for me to handle and I could not continue to lie in my tears, down on my kitchen floor. Therefore, I had to pick myself up and be the woman of faith I was created to be, and ultimately I had to practice what I preached! I decided one day, Satan you will not take over my mind! I also decided that day that I was going to fight. I was going to pray my way through because I knew I had the greatest weapon, which is God's Holy word.
I began to study and reflect on the book of Job. He was a faithful servant of God. He was a family man who exuded dignity and respect for himself and others and one who lived a righteous life. In the book of Job 1:2-3, it states "There were born to him seven sons and three daughters. He possessed 7,000 sheep, 3,000 camels, 500 yoke of oxen, and 500 female donkeys, and very many servants, so that this man was the greatest of all the people of the east." This let me know that Job was beyond blessed and rich in his land. Job was such an upright man that Satan believed that if Job was tested that he would turn his back on God. With permission, God allowed Satan to test Job, allowing him to do whatever he wanted to Job, except kill him. When Satan started to shake up Job's world, he attacked everything that meant the most to him. Job loss his wealth, his family, and his health began to fail, but he still did not turn his back on God. Instead, Job continued to praise God by saying "Naked I came from my mother's womb, and naked shall I return. The Lord gave, and the Lord has taken away; blessed be the name of the Lord.” God blessed Job in the end greatly because he had FAITH that everything was going to come together in the end for his good!
I couldn't imagine what Job was going through, but yet and still, HE NEVER BLAMED GOD! Yes, his body began to get weak. Yes, he loss his family, but HE STILL PRAISED GOD IN THE MIDST OF HIS STORM! He didn't focus on what was going on, instead he continued to praise his way through! Wow! What I was experiencing, honestly, did not compare to what Job had experienced. Studying the book of Job and knowing how God blessed Job for not giving up on Him, helped me to praise my way through my own storm. Romans 8: 28 states "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." In the end, God turned my situation around for my good just as He did for Job. He turned what seemed to be the toughest time in my life, into the most beautiful one because it was just the experience that I needed! I became wiser, stronger, and ultimately I was a better woman than I was before. I learned that I could depend on God and that He is not a man that will lie and His word is true!
God will never leave us nor forsake us! He will walk with us, talk with us, and guide us, even in the midst of a storm! If we continue to seek God wholeheartedly, even when the storm is raging in our lives, He will see us through our toughest times! In the end we will be blessed because we already have the victory! Have faith and keep pushing!