I can only be me. I don't know everything. I yearn for you, I want to learn from you, but you push me away. I love you and all I want to do is make you happy, is that too much to ask? You hear nothing that I have to say. I know that I am only a child in your eyes, but I am becoming older.It hurts to be unheard, to be unloved, and to not be everything that you think I should be. You are my superhero. Mom, do you even notice that I am hurting? You don't listen to me, but you are always telling me to do this and do that or yell “Just leave me alone”. I am so confused and mad. I don’t understand the emotions that I am feeling. I only want to feel loved, or feel that you care.
Mom, I have so many friends and acquaintances all around, I don't need you to be added to that list. I need you to be my mom. God has made me to be HIS special gift that you're supposed to cherish and love. What happened? Where did our relationship go wrong? I am supposed to be taught by you, learn from you, but I need you to show me how, I will listen. I shake my head because nothing I ever do is satisfying to you. Can you just please listen to what I have to say, PLEASE!
Mom, even though you are not as present as I would like, I still love, honor, and respect you because of who you are. Every day will not be pretty, but I will continue to pray. I will continue doing everything that I can, because mom, I need you. I want to see you in the audience as I walk across the stage one day to receive my diploma. I may be crying now, but I know one day you will greet me with kisses and hugs. On that day I'll know you chose me over drugs.